Stay Signed In
Do you want to access your site more quickly on this computer? Check this box, and your username and password will be remembered for two weeks. Click logout to turn this off.
Stay Safe
Do not check this box if you are using a public computer. You don't want anyone seeing your personal info or messing with your site.
Week 3
Q. "What did the blonde’s left leg say to her right leg?
A. Between the two of us, we can make a lot of money."
~http://www.lotsofjokes.
com/cat_01.htm
Week 2
Q. "What's a blondes favorite nursery rhyme?
A. Humpme Dumpme"
~http://www.lotsofjokes.
com/cat_01.htm
Week 4
Q. "Why is a blonde like a doorknob?
A. Because everyone gets a turn."
~http://www.lotsofjokes.
com/cat_01.htm
Week 1
Q:"Why did the turtle cross the road?
A:Because the chicken was on vacation!"
~Deidre(aka my baby sis)
Week 5
Q. How do men sort out their laundry?
A. Filthy, and filthy but wearable.
~http://lotsofjokes.com/
cat_08.htm
Week 7
At a wedding, the boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
~http://www.ahajokes.com/
mar020.html
Week 6
Q. What goes: "CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it? CLICK -is that it?"
A. A blind person with a rubix cube.
~http://lotsofjokes.com/
cat_296.htm
Week 8
SIX DIE TRYING TO SAVE CHICKEN - August 1, 1995
CAIRO, Egypt (AP) - Six people drowned yesterday while trying to rescue a chicken that had fallen into a well in southern Egypt. An 18-year-old farmer was the first to descend into the 60-foot well. He drowned, apparently after an undercurrent in the water pulled him down, police said.
His sister and two brothers, none of whom could swim well, went in one by one to help him, but also drowned. Two elderly farmers then came to help, but they apparently were pulled down by the same undercurrent. The bodies of the six were later pulled out of the well in the village of Nazlat Imara, 240 miles south of Cairo. The chicken was also pulled out. It survived.
~http://www.ahajokes.com/dum15.html
Week 9
~Picking on a tardy student~
A college business professor could not help but notice that one of his students was late to class for the third time that week. Before class ended he went around the room asking students some questions about the day's lecture. Of course, he made sure to pick on his tardy pupil.
"And who was it that developed the theories behind communism?" the professor asked.
"I don't know," the student said.
"Perhaps if you came to class on time, Mr. Reebs, you would know," said the professor.
"That's not true," the student replied. "I never pay attention anyway!"
~http://www.ahajokes.com/tardy.html
Week 12
Women's Dictionary Part 1
-Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
-Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
-Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
-Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
-Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
-Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
-Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
-Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
~http://www.ahajokes.com/gen01.html
Week 10
Working mothers are guinea pigs in a scientific experiment to show that sleep is not necessary to human life.
~http://www.ahajokes.com/par001.html
Week 11
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says, "I'm sending out one thousand Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asks the man.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replies.
~http://www.ahajokes.com/scard.html
Week 13
Women's Dictionary part 2
-Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
-Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
-Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
-Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
-Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."
-Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!
-Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
-Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
-Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
-Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card
~http://www.ahajokes.com/gen01.html
Week 14
Getting old
You know you're getting older when...
-Everything that works hurts, and what doesn't hurt doesn't work.
-You feel like the morning after, and you haven't been anywhere.
-Your little black book only contains names ending in M.D.
-Your children are beginning to look middle-aged.
-Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
-You look forward to a dull evening.
-Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
-Your back goes out more than you do.
-You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there.
-You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
~http://www.ahajokes.com/age27.html
Go back to my homepage, cause my homepage is so purtyfull
